I am thinking out loud a little with this one. I am happy even though I feel crappy. Wink Haha!

I have posted many pages over the years documenting my weight loss/thoughts and feelings and I have created an ongoing album documenting all things related to my journey to better health. These days it's not about weight loss related goals/changes but I still document things like health challenges. That's because 'better health' is not always about losing weight and eating right. Sometimes it's about things out of our control and about learning and growing from that. Funnily enough I am also working on a page at the moment about how in spite of how I have been feeling of late, I have become so much stronger and have smashed some big strength goals. I'm so glad to have all these pages together in one place so I can see how I've grown and changed since those first days of deciding to change my life. Smile

Thanks for cheering me on, friends! Smile

Clean Stitched Borders No. 03 White
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Patterning Palette No. 04 Dots and Stripes Paper Pack
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Font: Traveling Typewriter
Journaling: After almost a few months of ups and downs and quite a lot of crap I had finally made the decision to xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx when I saw the specialist next. So many things have been worse since I had it done and the things that had improved were not worth the extra hassles I was having. Then all of a sudden like the flick of a switch, things changed. I got a glimpse into how life used to be. Pain went away. Fatigue went away. Bloating went away and I literally dropped many cmís overnight in my waist. I looked completely different because I wasnít puffy. It was the old me again. I told myself not to get my hopes up. I have been in this cycle so many times before. Just when I think things are improving I am smacked in the face with reality. I see the specialist in two weeks and now I am really conflicted over the next step. I donít want to have surgery if I can avoid it but if feeling good is only going to be temporary then I canít continue these hellish cycles of pain and fatigue either. That week of feeling good did me wonders though. It proved to me it was all fluid gain. It made me accept a bit better that itís out of my control for now. It was nice to give all Iíve got to life and be the active person I love to be. I was right though, it was temporary. The switch flicked again and this time the pain is the worst that it has ever been. The swelling isnít back yet but I am ready for it. I have set myself a challenge this time though. I want to come through this cycle remaining positive. It wonít get me down this time. It wonít win. In the meantime, I have big decisions to consider.