Journaling: I AM THE WRONG SORT OF PERSON FOR THIS. I WAS NOT MADE FOR THE COW-WALKING-A-THOUSAND-MILES SORT OF ENDEAVOR. I AM WIRED TO CHECK OFF BOXES, MASTER SKILLS QUICKLY AND MOVE ON TO THE NEXT CHALLENGE, TO WATCH FROM THE SIDELINES UNTIL I CAN DO IT WELL, TO ONLY DO THINGS I CAN SUCCEED AT NOW, OR AT LEAST SOON. I HAVE LEARNED A LOT IN A YEAR AND A HALF, BUT AS SOON AS I START FEELING A LITTLE COMPETENT, ALONG COMES A CLASS THAT REVEALS HOW LITTLE I KNOW, HOW LITTLE I CAN DO, HOW FAR I AM FROM BEING GOOD AT THIS. "SOME PEOPLE FEEL HEARTBROKEN," HE SAID. WELL, YEAH. HEARTBROKEN, PRIDE-BROKEN, DISCOURAGED, UNDONE: I CANNOT DO THIS WELL, WHICH FOR ME, SUCCESS ADDICT THAT I AM, IS THE SAME AS I CANNOT DO THIS.


AND YET: I DON'T QUIT. I KEEP SHOWING UP. I PRACTICE. THE BLACK BELTS LAUGH KINDLY AT MY FEAR OF FAILURE IN THE FACE OF CONSTANT FAILURE THEY'RE USED TO IT, MAYBE?, BUT THERE I AM, PUSHING PAST THAT FEAR, PUSHING BEYOND THE DISCOURAGEMENT, SAYING, I CAN'T DO THIS, BUT I WILL DO THIS.


Say YES PageSet
ArtPlay Palette Science No. 01 ValueSet
Martial Arts No. 01 BrushSet
Fonts LD Telegram, James Fajardo