Sorry to be a bit depressing - am struggling a bit lately with how constrained my life is - I'll get over it - always do - but seemed to need to do this bit of therapy!

Journalling reads - I look at this photo and I just want to laugh and then in the next breath I just want to cry. Oh she is loved - absolutely and with everything I am capable of. But my life was changed on the night of her birth in ways that I am only now beginning to truely understand. Over the years I have learnt to accept that my life is vastly different to the lives that my friends lead .I have learnt to lift up my head and to go my appointed way. But every now and then, all of a sudden I find myself wondering how I came to be responsible for this 21 year old girl pushing a doll’s pram in public - complete with her Dora the Explorer baby - and all over again I am grieving for all the dreams I lost the night Claire was born - the chats over coffee, the parties, the graduations, the wedding, the grandchildren, the beautiful woman she might have been.

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