I am not sure - I think this may be a whiney page. But I have had to do serious messages to self over the last few months about who is responsible for my happiness (uh, that would be me):
Journaling:
Do not trip on something that is behind you … wise words from a wise friend. Lately, I have had to seriously contemplate how I define myself. Not until it was gone did I realize just how much of “me” was tied to being perceived as a competent and valued employee in the organization where I have worked for seventeen years. When our director and two other senior staff members retired, I applied for director’s job. And in no uncertain terms, the dean of the school made it clear that while I would “do” to fill in the three positions until folks could be hired (which turned about to be seven months before they were all filled) I would in no way ever be considered competent to lead the organization.
Before, the director frequently sought my opinion; now that rarely happens. The rational part of my brain understands this – our new director does not know me or what I bring to the table. That respect has to be earned. But it has been a very hard transition for me.
So, do I trip and accept the dean’s perception of me? Do I stumble and let that define me? Do I kick myself for taking the risk? (After all, it would be a very different dynamic if I had not applied and had just been asked to cover until positions were filled.) Do I falter and let my bruised ego blind me to the respect my colleagues have for me? Or, do I celebrate the energy, drive, fun and experience of the person who did get the job? Do I embrace a new leadership style even though it is very different? Do I make peace with being one of the wheels instead of the driver? Do I look at this as the sunset of my career, or do I look at it as the sunrise on a new Beginnng


Credits: ALL DD
Classic Cardstock: Into the Night
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