Journaling:
Maisie, I lost my mom ten years ago. Yet saying ‘lost’ just doesn’t seem right. Lost is such an innocuous word and doesn’t even touch the feelings I had when my mother died. She died of cancer. A horrible, horrible disease that I pray doesn’t touch your life. She was diagnosed in April and died in July. And between those two dates so much happened. I remember having to tell her that even though she was suffering through chemo and was a shadow of her former self, she could not eat a cookie with her tea, because one the medications that was meant to help her made her a diabetic. I remember arguing with her and trying to take the keys from her telling her that she was not allowed to drive, because that is what the doctors said. All she wanted was a little of her former independence and normalcy. I remember seeing the huge bruises all over her body from another drug that was supposed to help her, but it felt as if just touching her would bruise her. I remember seeing her so frustrated that the independence she once too for granted was gone. I remember her fighting this disease and I remember her coming to terms with the fact that she could fight no more. I remember her beautiful hair, one of her great prides, falling out and a friend shaving her head for her. I remember standing beside her, holding her hand as she took her last breath and it was quiet, and peaceful and I remember crying. She left this world too early, missing so many things that she should have seen and it is hard to believe that ten years have passed and although time is a great healer, there are still times when I cry for her pain, for her loss of everything that has come since then and for the desire to just give her a hug and tell her that it would all be alright. It as been ten years since I lost my mother and at times it feels like just yesterday.


Credits:
Pattie Knox Staple Its; Katie Pertiet ZipperPullsDates; Anna Aspnes Assorted Zig Zag Foto Frames White, Stitched by Anna No 1, Dripped Stains No 4; Ali Mom Wordart; Andrea Victoria Twinkle Shine Paper; Jesse Edwards Clean and Serene Solids No 1