When I approached this Page Kraft:Write True and Click
challenge I just spent some time staring at my computer and then this
really took a different turn for me, thinking more specifically to a
particular time in life
where I felt free....

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Ex Libris Ad On Brush Set

Freedom of self, freedom of purpose, freedom of pressures, freedom- new found freedom
i found it back in the summer of 1994. At 21, with a college degree, I felt I had finally earned
the status that had been forced on me 6 years earlier. I didnt want to be independent at
16, but it is where I found myself. Alone in a world of judgement, I guarded my emotions, concealed
my happiness, and ran from contentment. I would spend countless hours exploring the works
of my favorite poets beneath the piers of the beach. wallowing in the state of conflict i was found living
in at 16. But i was resilient, I was strong, I was free. But that freedom was bondage in and of itself.
Life took me where I had not foreseen it, but I knew in uncertainty I would find my old friend
I would find the comfort of my soul that resided there for so long. I stood confident against
adversity and propelled myself forward when life had hit the lowest I had known.
I had stood for years with uncertainty of lifes basic needs, would I eat, would
i have money for clothes. I had resentments, I had hurt, i was wounded.
But in the summer of '94 I had graduated college, I had accomplished my goals on my
own. I thought I had finally found freedom. I had a car and could go wherever whenever
and I drove halfway across the country on my own. Music blaring, windows rolled down
and sunset in front of me. I found true freedom.
Freedom from the pressures that said I had to succeed, survive and be responsible.
The freedom that said I had arrived. I didnt know there was such
a point or mark in time. I had hoped, I kept waiting for it. but when I found it, I didnt know
what to do, so I cried and the release of the pressure of life slowly flew out the window
and the sea took away the pain, hurt and disappointment, and I took hold of life.
and I sang the whole way home.
I was free.