What a thought provoking journaling challenge.

Anna Aspnes - Journaling Challenge 7-19
Katie Pertiet - Shimmer Clusters no 2

Font: FG Wurth

I am just starting to get my facebook page going, inspired by a desire to find out what is happening to friends that I haven’t seen now that we have moved to Lansing and I don’t have much of a social life other than pushing toddlers on swings in the backyard. A friend sent me this picture to put as my avatar on the site, since I didn’t have one yet. The boys - not ever willing to let me use the computer long by myself, came over to sit on my lap. Colin and the left, Owen on the right, they immediately began to ask questions. “Who is that Mommy?”, inquired Colin, pointing at me on the screen.

I was FLOORED. Flabbergasted. “That’s me.”

Owen queried “Why are you dressed like that game?”

The bottom dropped out of my stomach. Sure, I had given up playing when I became pregnant. Sure, I have been too busy and too budget conscious to start playing again, but - this picture is ME. This is my internal view of myself. This is where I have been - Perhaps never terribly good, but dedicated. Five to Seven times a week. Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter. From the moment I started until the day we found out we were having twins, I lived and breathed hockey. This was how I saw myself - a hockey player. Those early morning skates at Munn. Getting there early so I could be the first one out, before all of the lights had come on in the arena. The crisp smell of ice that had been sitting, undisturbed, over night. The sounds of my skate scraping against the hard ice. The smooth surface left from the zamboni the night before The cold air in my face as my skates sped me across the rink.

How could my own kids not know that was me?
It was then, at that moment, that I decided that the places I have been will also be the places I will go - even if it may take awhile to get back there. Maybe not in exactly the same way, maybe not as often, but it will happen, this I promise myself.