Sunday night, after a 6 hr visit from my older son, my daughter said she would not eat for me or take her meds as she did for him. He left telling her that was her choice and she could make it and deal with the consequences.
Later that evening, she ended up calling for an ambulance and I asked them to send the police as she had threatened to kill me. Her father and his wife will no longer be coming up to rent a home and have her with them if and when she undergoes further chemo treatment. I'm feeling sadness/grief for what could have been for her as well as relief that the insanity is no longer part of my life. These kinds of behavior hold the family hostage.
It's a hard hard thing to have to finally say No, no more. and let her live with her own adult choices like this. If you have had to go through it with a loved one, you know the hell that you walk through. If you never have, I pray that you never do. But AlAnon is a wonderful resource and source of strength in these kinds of issues whether alcohol, drugs or someone else's behavior making your own life insane.
Thank you all for being there for us, praying and offering support. It has been a blessing. My 'real life' friends have also been wonderful in offering strength and concrete advice on what to do in these heart wrenching choices.
I don't know what the future will bring for my daughter but I believe in a merciful God, and know that there is a plan for her that is beyond my comprehension or understanding. I have to remind myself that 'that' is all I need to know now, and later. Detachment with love.