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Thread: Need security blanket advice

  1. #1
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    Need security blanket advice

    In light of the horrible earthquake in Haiti, this request seems so insignificant, but I would love some advice.

    My son is attached to a security blanket he calls "Baby," one of those small squares of fabric with an animal head attached. It is the only thing he'll go to sleep with.

    He had it with him today and I didn't know it, and apparently it dropped out of the car on our way into the grocery store. Since I didn't know he had it, it must have slipped under the car and I didn't see it when we loaded back up. DH went back to the store to find it, but couldn't find it. Jake's been asking for it all morning.

    Has anyone been through this? I feel terrible because I know it brings him comfort, and I hate to have him in his room screaming without it. But he's going to have to learn to sleep without it. He has a blanket he asks for, too, but he won't go to sleep without Baby. One time we thought we lost it, he did go to sleep but he cried full-bore for over an hour.

    Sarah
    Sarah
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  2. #2
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    Oh, poor thing. My daughter took her security blanket to college! Is there a way you can replace it?

  3. #3
    Replace it asap! This happened to us with my little one and I was fortunate to find one at the same store the day it happened.
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  4. #4
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    We can replace it, there's one on eBay, but it will take 5 days to get here. We've tried switching it out, but nothing has fooled him.

    We just came back from the store, it's not there. I checked all the trash cans. We are sick to our stomachs. I guess we can buy the replacement, but we're in for a couple days of hard crying until he gets used to it. It's an old Disney Store blanket, we don't have a Disney Store here.
    Sarah
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  5. #5
    You may want to order two while you're at it... that's what my daughter did with her daughter.. so there is always a backup
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  6. #6
    Ohhhh that is so hard. Both of my girls are very attached to their blankets. Julia is now almost six but it stays in her bed. It used to be pink and now it is a lovely shade of gray Best of luck getting through the next five days. I have a feeling he might be over it by the time you get the replacement!!!


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  7. #7
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    Jen, that's precisely what we're thinking. My DH only really wanted to get it back to have it for sentimental reasons. By the time it gets here, he'll probably have decided he can live without it.

    We'd order 2, but it is one of a kind. They don't make it anymore, and I can't believe DH found one on eBay. It's not even new, it's gently used. We tried getting DD attached to something similar when she was little, and she never cared. Had I known a baby could get so attached to something, I wouldn't have given him something so unique! This is just another notch in a frustrating day.
    Sarah
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  8. #8
    we have a disney store but i don't think i could get it to you any faster
    Heather

  9. #9
    Oh no!! Spencer has a blankie that he is totally attached too. I don't know what we would do if we lost it. Good luck to you!

  10. #10
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    Just a side story: When my daughter was four, she left her blankie in a San Francisco hotel room. The kind manager fedexed it to us overnight!

  11. #11
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    Well, DH went ahead and bought the one on eBay. It was $20 used. There are 2 or 3 listed new as well starting at $50. Apparently they are hard to find and popular. Well, Jake is 2, he's big enough that he can understand when we tell him he has to go to sleep without it. It's just going to be a struggle. DH will probably put him in bed with us for a few nights. Ugh. If we'd lost it anywhere but Walmart, we probably would have found it. But the Walmart here is such a dump, trash everywhere, no one cares. Someone probably picked it up and took it home for their kids. We'll see how naptime goes in about an hour.
    Sarah
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  12. #12
    Poor you. This was one of my nightmares when DD was little. The thought of losing her security blanket .. ouch. I remember reading in the paper in England about someone whose car was stolen and the toddler's blankie was in the back. She was appealing for it's return on all the local radio stations and papers- didn't care about the car! Hope he manages to get to sleep without it. I'll be thinking of you.

  13. #13
    Oh, Sarah, I'm so sorry. We thought we lost "white D" long ago at a rest stop on the way to NY--thought it fell out of the car when we stopped. There was no way to replace it exactly so another blanket took its place--but with tears. A few months later I found it inside a pillowcase--I was, in fact, probably the one who put it in with a pillow we'd been traveling with. I guess I washed the case with the very thin blanket inside and it got shoved in the linen closet. I put a ribbon around it and put it under the Christmas Tree. The look on my son's face was pretty amazing.
    Debbie

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by DebbieHodge View Post
    Oh, Sarah, I'm so sorry. We thought we lost "white D" long ago at a rest stop on the way to NY--thought it fell out of the car when we stopped. There was no way to replace it exactly so another blanket took its place--but with tears. A few months later I found it inside a pillowcase--I was, in fact, probably the one who put it in with a pillow we'd been traveling with. I guess I washed the case with the very thin blanket inside and it got shoved in the linen closet. I put a ribbon around it and put it under the Christmas Tree. The look on my son's face was pretty amazing.
    That is a sweet story! I just put him down for his nap, and he asked for Baby. I said, "Baby's gone," and his eyes just filled up and his lip curled, and he said, "Baby gone? No baby?" If we can get through the next few days, we'll have the replacement. But hearing him cry for it just breaks my heart. I'm a sucker, I know.
    Sarah
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  15. #15
    Sarah, it's real. They need it til they say they don't. Great for you that you replaced it. Tell him Baby had to take a trip. Do give some explanation. Hey, we all do the Santa thing so it'll be ok to fib for the heart of the boy. That was the psychologist speaking. This is the person. I, at 59, remember that my parents turned around and went back two hours for my pillow left at Grandmothers. They loved me. I knew it then and know it now. Your boy is lucky to have you two as parents.
    just call me Uma

    I guess I SHOULD remove the blinkie.
    BUT I'm not gonna!




  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by iUma View Post
    Sarah, it's real. They need it til they say they don't. Great for you that you replaced it. Tell him Baby had to take a trip.
    Oh, now I feel sad again! (Not really, but guilty, at least. We spent half an hour at Walmart trying to find it. It just wasn't there.) We did buy a replacement, but he'll be without it for at least 3 days until it comes. I just put him down for a nap and he only cried for about 2 minutes. I just told him Baby was gone, and we'd have him back soon. So maybe it won't be as bad as I thought it would be! I had a long talk with him in the car on the way home about how he's a big boy now, and maybe he didn't need Baby. He does have a Thomas blanket he asks for at night, and that's in there with him, so maybe it's ameliorating the sting. If he won't calm down tonight, I'm sure DH will scoop him up and bring him in bed with us. (Which means I'll be on the couch---but if it means 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep on the couch, hey, I'm fine with that!)

    Thanks for all your support, ladies! I was feeling down and DH and I were both sad. I knew I could come here to find some empathy! (I thought about all my friends here in town, and no child I know in our group has a security blanket, or if they did, it was never lost. I'm kind of on my own . . . all my friends think it's "cute" that he drags that thing around with him everywhere. )
    Sarah
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  17. #17
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    My daughter's blanket got thrown away.....by my husband! He's a really easy-going, good-natured guy, but one day was just awful between my daughter and son. They were bugging each other all day long. One thing we do, depending on the situation, is in addition to a time-out, they lose something. A toy, a privilege, etc. Sometimes the toys they can earn back, but sometimes they lose them......in the trash (if it's my husband) or they go to a pile that I take to a 2nd hand store. Well, my daughter did something and my husband told her not to do it again, and she looked right at him, defiantly, and did it! It went in the garbage. And the garbage went out the next morning, and I totally forget to rescue it (I wouldn't have given it back without talking to my husband, but I wanted it rescued). This all happened several years ago. Last year, before she was in school, she was walking with me and my son to take him to the bus stop. She saw the garbage man coming up the hill and told me she wanted to go talk to him. I asked her why. She said, "Because he has my blanket and I want it back!" Oh, my gosh, it was so funny and sad all at the same time.

  18. Aww...I am so sorry that this happened to you! My little ones love their "Baby Bears" and would have a hard time if they came up missing. Blessings for a smooth time until the new "baby" appears!

  19. #19
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    My 25 year old girl still has her "Bunny" which is a bunny head attached to a blanket. Well, it was at one time, anyway. Now it's just a shadow of its former self.
    We lost it several times when she was little. The first time was in London! We had to go back through one of those dang castles to find it. Thank goodness we did.
    After that, we bought 2 so we'd always have a backup. That thing has been through you know what.
    I agree with Patricia, these things are real to them and it's so tough when they are without them. I hope your little guy is ok and that the new one arrives soon and works its magic
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  20. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by dugarner View Post
    Thanks for all your support, ladies! I was feeling down and DH and I were both sad. I knew I could come here to find some empathy! (I thought about all my friends here in town, and no child I know in our group has a security blanket, or if they did, it was never lost. I'm kind of on my own . . . all my friends think it's "cute" that he drags that thing around with him everywhere. )
    Hey! Before we took our crying 10-year-old to the emergency room last week (he took a bad tumble sledding) our 13-year-old said, "Wait" and ran upstairs and grabbed a stuffed animal and a Foxtrot book. For the next few hours--until he was finally out of pain--Isaac kept rubbing his chin on the bear's soft head. It was truly a comfort to him. Comforting familiar items are a good thing.
    Debbie

  21. #21
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    My 40 yo. sister had a bear named Tedda that she nom-nommed (nose kissed? whatever you'd call it) until it fell apart. She still has it, one orange glass eye glued to a piece of ratty brown fabric. It's really gross, and relatively disturbing, when you think about it.

    He did fine today. He cried for about 3 minutes, said "Baby gone," and grabbed his blanket and went to sleep. Tonight will be the real test, but I'm optimistic.
    Sarah
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  22. #22
    make a link chain or something to tell him how many more days tils baby returns, assure him it is soon. So sorry!!
    Heather

  23. #23
    Sarah I'm so sorry your little one has lost his "baby", it's so hard for him and you all. So many of us have been through similar situations, be it their blanket, doll, bottle, pacifier, no matter what, it's sad to see them unhappy. I hope the next few nights won't be too difficult.

  24. #24
    Can I just say? The love pouring out of these posts for little ones who need their special loveys is so touching. Sarah, I hope you write this story down--do a page about it--something--so Jake knows the way Patricia knows how much he's loved.

    Watching our children suffer, even when we know they'll be OK, is always so hard--hang in there!
    Laura in CT

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  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by LauraBean View Post
    Can I just say? The love pouring out of these posts for little ones who need their special loveys is so touching. Sarah, I hope you write this story down--do a page about it--something--so Jake knows the way Patricia knows how much he's loved.

    Watching our children suffer, even when we know they'll be OK, is always so hard--hang in there!
    Oh, y'all are so sweet, I'm crying and I didn't even lose my blanket. I probably should do a page about it! I will definitely keep all these posts. I initially thought of it as a "suck it up, be a man, rub some dirt in it" event, but when I saw his little lip curl and the tears start, it just broke my heart. I love my daughter to pieces, but something about a little man needing that security just tugs at my heart. Maybe it's because Bailey never needed it. Maybe this is small evidence he'll be a sensitive guy. He's still sleeping . . . it's been almost two hours!
    Sarah
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  26. each of my boys bonded with a stuffed animal (one a horse, one a cow). when we realized how much they meant to the boys we bought second ones of each in case a loss happened.

    my older boy is now 7, and keeps them in his bed. he doesn't carry them around any more, but knows immediately if they're missing.

    my younger one is 5 1/2, and loves his and still carries them around periodically. they're actually a good barometer for his mood - if he's stressed out or nervous about something, it's in his hand, with his thumb rubbing one of the paws.

    so it's great that you replaced it. he will really appreciate that. be prepared that he may know it's not really "his" because it will smell different. big hugs to you both as you wait for the replacement.

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  27. I'm with everyone else about being glad you found a replacement. Both of my kids have had their lovies. This is going to sound odd I'm sure but here goes. My oldest who is 16 had a purple dinosaur (remember Chompers in The Land Before Time) and a blanket that he had from birth. I hadn't thought much of them until about 6 months ago when I found them on the floor beside his bed. He wasn't sleeping with them anymore but they were there. It was kind of surprising that these 2 items meant so much to him after all those years. They live in his closet now.
    The lovies drive hubby crazy because he thinks the boys are too old for them. Youngest is 7. By 4 or 5 he was trying to get them away. I have always told him that when they are ready they will put them away and that was 1 thing we were leaving up to them.
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  28. #28
    Ok, I am definitely doing a page about the two blankets I crocheted for my two grandpeople. Gus calls his his "womb" (story on the page) and Ruby calls hers "my muma blankie". From my work world they are called "transitional objects" - meaning they (the children - us) place the feeling of being loved by the people (mom and dad or UMA) into the material object - blanket, pillow, whatever. It is real. Well documented and understood by the child psychologists. It lets you tolerate being away from the real people until you can hold your own space and love your own self.
    Which can take a very long time.
    just call me Uma

    I guess I SHOULD remove the blinkie.
    BUT I'm not gonna!




  29. #29
    My son had a small teddy bear he loved when he was little, even took it to surgery with him, that bear sat on his dresser for years. My granddaughter Nikki fell in love with it, she would borrow it and promise to bring it back on her next visit and always did, my son loved passing his bear to her. She is nine now and we haven't seen her in 3 years, I have often wondered whether she still has it and would love if she did.
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  30. #30
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    Well, this may be the end of this saga! The replacement is on its way, the seller kindly shipped it this afternoon via priority after reading that it was for a distraught toddler.

    However, when we put him down for bed tonight, he looked at Daddy and said, "Baby gones. Baby is bye-bye." And he rolled over and fell asleep. Maybe he was ready to move on? We're still going to give him the new one, though. And there's no telling how it will go tomorrow.

    Quote Originally Posted by connieg View Post
    She is nine now and we haven't seen her in 3 years, I have often wondered whether she still has it and would love if she did.
    Connie, that is absolutely so sweet. I like to think she probably still has the bear. It is surely something very special to her.
    Sarah
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