Help! Wedding gig . . .

[dugarner]

I just got tapped to do wedding photos for a church member/friend. She's having a very small (family and a few friends) ceremony at a B&B an hour east of here. They are on a very tight budget and cannot afford to pay. The bride has struggled with massive health issues over the past couple of years, to the point where she despaired of getting married at all because she feels like her health is too much of a burden to put on a spouse.

I've never done a wedding. I told myself I would NEVER shoot a wedding. But, to be honest, this family is so gracious, kind, and tender-hearted that I could probably hand them a Polaroid and they'd be grateful.

I have looked at a bazillion wedding photos, but they're usually formal. This will not be formal; I'd be surprised if she wears a gown.

It will be outside in November; cool but not cold.

I cannot scout out the location before hand. That is my biggest fear.

Does anyone have tips? Grouping? Should I do as many candids as I can, and pose the family after the ceremony? It sounds like it may be fewer than 20 or 30 invited total. Which may make it easier. I'm terrified.

The bride's sister, a good friend, offered me the use of her Canon XsQTRP-something-or-other, but I have a couple reservations. While the lenses are better than my Sony kit lenses, she's never once put the rear cap on any of these lenses. I've seen kids lick them, cake frosting dropped in them, and I saw her daughter poke a chicken nugget onto the mirror a while back. (She leaves the lenses off until she needs them, but doesn't put the body cap on.)

I'm also not familiar with the Canon menu system.

What do you think? Not a good idea to use an unfamiliar camera in an unfamiliar setting while shooting my first wedding? Wow, when I put it that way, I don't even need to post this.

I'm just writing this as catharsis, to assuage my fears. Y'all are a great support system.

[katrinak]

Use the equipment you are familiar with! I would say that even if they weren't coated in chicken nuggets.

Make a list of the photos you'd like to capture so you have something to work from:
rings
front of bb
mom and bride
dad and bride
bride and groom

take a lot of candids, framed well, as that is what most people want anyway (even if they don't know it at first) The real emotions between people.

Have fun. Breathe. Know that it will go faster than you expect, even a small wedding. Know too, that they will often look to you for guidance and what to do next in their own event. You've got a bit of power with the glass in your hand.

You'll be wonderful, you do beautiful work.

[DonnaNJ]

You'll do fine.. you are a great photographer! I've done some small informal weddings and they are usually a breeze. The Knot.com and other wedding sites have 'Lists of photos to ask the Photographer to Take' sometimes just reading over it gives you some ideas but mostly just go with the flow each wedding is different you just need to find what makes this one unique and capture it :-)

[esther_a]

I have no advice about wedding photography, I just wanted to pop in and comment that her treatment of her camera is unbelievable!!!

[earlofoxford]

You could also ask the couple if there are any shots in particular that they want you to capture. Maybe Grandma is coming for the wedding and they want a shot with her.

[dugarner]

Esther, it's kind of a running joke between me, myself, and I. She's known as being "the" photographer because she has the most expensive equipment. I was visiting her one morning and saw the camera on the kitchen counter without a lens or cover on it. Her daughter came by, licked her finger, and rubbed the mirror. I gasped, and my friend shrugged and said, "I just clean it off," and proceeded to wipe it with a kitchen towel. We had Field Day at school, and it was hot, dry, and dusty. She left both lenses on the table, glass-down, without any covers on the back. I could tell stories about her equipment that would rival the best ghost stories you've ever told. Let's light a bonfire and I'll scare the beejeepers out of you.

[deanie]

Gasp!!! My husband would divorce me if he saw such abuse. Of course, he is a little OCD, but even so...

[SarahDanyelle]

I'd be dead if I did that kind of abuse to my camera. Buried and gone!! Everyone's suggestions are spot on, so I'll just add what I did before my first wedding a few months ago. I joined the flickr wedding group below. After you get past the snotty-ness of the few photographers who think if you don't own you own wedding business then you are hack, it's actually got a lot of positive information in the forums. (I just ignored all that uncle Bob mess). A particularly great read is the "what I would've done differently" thread. (And I think using new equipment was in there). There are also a bagillion wedding photos and since there are so many there are a wide variety so you'll see a bunch of less formal type pictures. Good luck!

Flickr: Wedding Photography

[tylertooo]

I agree - use your own equipment. I am sure they will love everything - esp. since they cannot afford a photographer. I'd also check with them to see if there is anything special they would like to have shot. I did a small budget wedding for free of a friend, as a wedding present to her. As part of her gift I also did a bare bones shutterfly book (no scrapping). and they cried when they received it, they loved it so much. You will have to post some of your shots.

[dugarner]

I want to reply to everyone personally later (I'm trying to get the house clean before DH gets home from work . . .) but I appreciate all these great tips. I will check out the sites, and I'm going to talk to the mother of the bride on Sunday at church.

I'm tossing around the idea of renting a lens. My 50mm is beautiful, but I don't know how ideal that is as a focal length for every single picture. It would be like tilting every shot, or doing selective color all over the place.

I want the option of a longer lens, so I was going to start looking at some rental sites. I'm sure they would cover the cost of a lens rental if that's all I asked. That way I can use my camera body and have better equipment.

[carollee]

What a scary prospect, but Sarah, you know this lady and so hopefully know her personality enough to know what she would want. Have a plan but also play it by ear because the best laid plans go astray (I say that because in our wedding there is no photo of all with me and my in-laws and we didn't even realise until looking at the photos later). I wish you all the best of luck.

[dugarner]

Originally Posted by carollee

What a scary prospect, but Sarah, you know this lady and so hopefully know her personality enough to know what she would want. Have a plan but also play it by ear because the best laid plans go astray.

Carol, I agree completely. This whole family is very close to us; my husband and their son-in-law are very close friends, and the sisters are around my age and our children go to school together. We see them six days a week during the school year. It makes it easier in a way, but harder, too. The mother of the bride is a Facebook friend and she sees all my photography and scrapbooking, and said that's why she asked me. So I'm confident I'm not overselling myself!

[dugarner]

Originally Posted by katrinak

Make a list of the photos you'd like to capture so you have something to work from:

front of bb

take a lot of candids, framed well, as that is what most people want anyway.

Katrina, thanks! I wonder though, what is bb? I've been trying to figure it out.

Candids are my favorite, though I haven't had much experience with them. I'm talking to the MOB tomorrow morning and I'll have my list. She wrote me back after I posted this and explained that the bride really wants a completely stress-free wedding, which is why it's out of town, small, and informal. So I need to be double-sure that I am squared away so my nervousness doesn't discombobulate the bride. I've been surprised at some of the things I've seen professionals do, so I have a small mental list of what not to do.

[dugarner]

Originally Posted by DonnaNJ

You'll do fine.. you are a great photographer! I've done some small informal weddings and they are usually a breeze. The Knot.com and other wedding sites have 'Lists of photos to ask the Photographer to Take' sometimes just reading over it gives you some ideas but mostly just go with the flow each wedding is different you just need to find what makes this one unique and capture it :-)

Donna, thanks! You and Katrina both mentioned making a list. I'm going to get the list tomorrow from the MOB so I can start getting some ideas. I'll have an idea of attire, formal vs. casual, and maybe I can find the location on the internet or take a day trip out there between now and then. I think I'll be okay.

[carollee]

Originally Posted by dugarner

Katrina, thanks! I wonder though, what is bb? I've been trying to figure it out.

Big brother?
Beautiful Bride?
Best buddy?
Big bottom?

ROFL

I want to know too. Katrina come baaaaaaaaaack!!!!!!

[esther_a]

What about
Bridal bouquet
Bridal banquet (funny how similarly they are spelled but sound so different?!!)
...
OR, could it be
Bed and Breakfast?!!

You've got me curious, too!!

[dugarner]

Originally Posted by esther_a

What about
Bridal bouquet
Bridal banquet (funny how similarly they are spelled but sound so different?!!)
...
OR, could it be
Bed and Breakfast?!!

You've got me curious, too!!

I bet it's the bridal bouquet. That would make sense, to go along with the ring.

[dugarner]

Well, I guess I don't have to worry about "BB," y'all. I talked to the SOB this morning and the bride doesn't want ANY formal pictures. Nothing posed, no group shots at all, just candids. She doesn't really want any of herself, she doesn't want the attention, but tough. I'm takin' them and I'll sneak them to her sister, and a few years down the road when the bride feels better and wishes she had "real" wedding photos, she can get a belated wedding gift.

She's wearing a tea length white dress off the rack from a department store, and her groom will be in a regular suit and tie. 4:00 p.m. (perfect light!) outside in November, and the MOB said she'd cover lens rental for a 70-200 f2.8 for me so I can take all those long candid shots in lower light. Yay! Sounds like it's coming together with no stress for me.

Thanks for all your advice! I am still going into it well prepared, though, because while this family is super-sweet and SO easygoing, they may change their minds at the last minute and I don't want to be caught off guard.

[Jaycee]

I am a total dunce with a camera. Just good luck and i know you'll do a great job, Sarah!

[glassbird]

I would make a point of at least calling the "officiant" (justice of the peace, priest, etc.) and introducing yourself as the photographer. Ask if he/she has any rules that you should follow. I had a close call at the last wedding that I did for a friend...I had met with the priest ahead of time, and abided by all his requirements. But immediately after the couple left the church, an alter boy informed me that the priest wanted to see me...NOW. He started to get very stern with me about the curtesy that I did not show him by not talking to him ahead of time. I was finally able to get a word in edgewise...that I HAD discussed everything with him...and then he remembered me. He let me leave, with my dignity mostly intact, but it was a close call!

[dugarner]

Originally Posted by glassbird

I would make a point of at least calling the "officiant" (justice of the peace, priest, etc.) and introducing yourself as the photographer. Ask if he/she has any rules that you should follow. He started to get very stern with me about the curtesy that I did not show him by not talking to him ahead of time. I was finally able to get a word in edgewise...that I HAD discussed everything with him...and then he remembered me. He let me leave, with my dignity mostly intact, but it was a close call!

Wow, okay, that would be miserable. Sounds like the priest had some other issues going on! That's a big reason why I just could not handle being a professional wedding photographer. I could not handle the stress of all the confrontations, demanding people, Bridezillas, etc.

Luckily for me, my husband is the officiant. He won't care. And the mother of the bride is renting me the 70-200 2.8 so hopefully, I'll be just about invisible.