How many of you are 'single'? - Digital Scrapbooking Community

Sasha · #1 (**permalink**) 07-31-2007, 07:31 AM

Not single and available and free... but more like single handedly taking care of the children.

I'm a single mommy most of the time and i admit.. sometime it just GETS to me.. really GETS into my nerves

Tell me I'm not alone?

katie pertiet · #2 (**permalink**) 07-31-2007, 07:41 AM

Hi Sasha!
I'm not a single mom anymore--but I was for over four years from the time my daughter was three. I worked at home full-time as a freelancer and it was quite challenging at times--I remember well!

How many children do you have? how old are they? Do you have family that can help?

Sasha · #3 (**permalink**) 07-31-2007, 08:37 AM

The funny thing is.. i have a husband. But I feel single.. LOL.

He's always not at home due to his job nature. And with him not around, err... I feel overwhelmed sometime.. only like 20% of the time.. other times i'm fine.

But u know the feeling when its the middle of the night, or its way beyond 'respectable' hours and you need to talk to another adult? I take comfort that I can come here and rant.. no matter what time of the day it is.

When MIL was around, she used to help me a lot. She'll take the kids on the weekend, or even a few hours in the evening when I need to have some 'me' time. But she passed away in December and now I feel so alone, more than ever.

I have two girls katie.. 5 and 7. They're easy to take care of in the sense that no diaper, no night feeding, no colic.. but with age, comes another type pf problems as I'm sure u know

quilter422 · #4 (**permalink**) 07-31-2007, 09:06 AM

heck, i have an involved husband and i get overwhelmed at times. i don't know how single moms, or moms whose dh's travel/work extreme hours do it.

is there another mom you're friends with and you trust here parenting skills? one thing a friend of mine does (her husband travels 3-5 nights/week) is trade time so she and her friend can each get some me time. one week, one of them takes the other's kids, sometimes for 3-4 hours, sometimes even for a sleepover. the following week they switch. that way they each get at least one afternoon or evening every other week. not lots, but better than nothing!

good luck!

Steph · #5 (**permalink**) 07-31-2007, 10:01 AM

Well, I'm married but my husband's job is very stressful and he works lots of long hours, so I'm often on my own. It's a decision we made together to allow me to quit working and be home with the kids a couple of years ago, but it's almost harder to be at home than to work sometimes.

Hang in there! My oldest is now 9 1/2 and it does get a bit easier!

digigrandma · #6 (**permalink**) 07-31-2007, 11:33 AM

Hi Sasha!

Sorry for the loss of your mil. You must have had a special relationship with her that was a blessing for her as well as for you.

It's a big responsibility raising kids and I understand your need to talk to other adults. Glad you can share here!

Sasha · #7 (**permalink**) 07-31-2007, 12:08 PM

Thanks for all your comforting words... I really appreciate it. I'm not local, I came from a neighboring country, moved to Singapore 2 years after I married my husband, so I have very few friends.

I made some thru scrapbooking too, but I don't feel comfortable imposing on them as they have husbands who come home daily

I feel much better after ranting here actually... just came back from the 'dropping' him off at the airport... Zurich this time, back on Saturday. I will survive!

FlowerGirl · #8 (**permalink**) 07-31-2007, 12:17 PM

I'm a single mom. My husband passed away in Feb. of 2006. But even before that, he worked 80 hours a week and we really only saw him on weekends when he was wiped-out tired! I used to get frustrated because I 'felt' like a single parent, but now that I really am...it sucks! It's hard, non-stop work. I have 3 boys, ages 6, 9 and 11.

I definitely feel your frustration!!!

belle · #9 (**permalink**) 07-31-2007, 01:16 PM

My kids are grown 20 and 25 2 girls. I use to feel that way also hubbie worked all the time. When he look back on it now that is his regret the lost time with the girls. It was at time overwhelming but not nerly as the echoes of a empty house so enjoy every overwhelming moment! My daughters are now my best friends I love and enjoy the adult time I have with them and now I have a beautiful granddaughter. What wonderful blessing God gives us and they are called children!

Belle

Myra · #10 (**permalink**) 07-31-2007, 03:56 PM

sasha, i think it's great that you're honest enough with yourself to admit that sometimes parenting just saps the life out of you. that doesn't make you a bad parent. it's unfortunate that so many people are afraid to admit how difficult and challenging being a mom (or dad) can be. on the other hand, i know these years are passing by so quickly, and before i know it, i'll be looking back and wishing i had enjoyed them more. that's what i try to think about when i'm feeling worn down.

Lynn Grieveson · #11 (**permalink**) 07-31-2007, 04:49 PM

My DH works a few hours away most of the week in another city where he has an apartment and we have no family close by, so it sounds like we are in a similar situation! It is not so bad during the week as I just "get on with it", but I know what you mean about weekends. It takes him a day to get back into the swing of NOT being a bachelor just looking after himself - and then he leaves again LOL.

So sorry to hear about your MIL.

We used to live in Singapore too. I miss it in lots of ways but it can be a strange place can't it? If I was still there we could have met up for coffee, which would be nice.

Sasha · #12 (**permalink**) 07-31-2007, 09:25 PM

aww... now I feel like a jerk for complaining.. it must be even harder for you Stacy! *hugs* and more *hugs*

thanks everyone.. you really helped me a lot.

Lynn - you were here before? lived here? how awesome is that? do let me know if you.. or anyone for that matter is coming for a visit.. i would love to meet up for coffee or full blown seafood dinner

yes.. i really shd be enjoying them more. so often that i just feel like sleeping in on weekends, but i was glad i dragged my a** out of bed and bring them out somewhere to have fun.. the beach will definitely bring some smiles on their faces. heck.. my girls are easy to please, even going for a short walk around the neighbourhood will make them happy..

i'm grateful for that...

thanks again everyone.. love you all.

FlowerGirl · #13 (**permalink**) 07-31-2007, 11:54 PM

Sorry, I really didn't mean it like that -- just meant I know exactly where you are coming from! Lynn, when we lived in Australia, we had a house in Melbourne and Tom had an apartment in Sydney where he spent 85% of his time. It's a tough life! Good thing we women are the stronger of the sexes

Starlite9711 · #14 (**permalink**) 08-01-2007, 12:19 AM

Parenting can be very draining, single or double. DH has been working about 1.5 hours away for almost 2 months, staying there during the week and coming home on weekends. It is only for about 3more weeks (Thank God) but it has given me a taste of what its like to be a single mom,, my mom raised me while my dad worked out of town, so shes been a big help (lives close..again thank God) It can be tiring but bringing our buts off the couch and taking them to the park, out to do fn things, its what we will remember later, not the overwheliming part. It what we can scrap about, its what keeps us going. Just keep on going girl and know you can always come here and rant, share and talk. You arent alone!!!!!

Sasha · #15 (**permalink**) 08-01-2007, 01:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FlowerGirl

Sorry, I really didn't mean it like that -- just meant I know exactly where you are coming from! Lynn, when we lived in Australia, we had a house in Melbourne and Tom had an apartment in Sydney where he spent 85% of his time. It's a tough life! Good thing we women are the stronger of the sexes

Stacy... its okay. I just can't imagine being where you at now. I hope i will be half as strong..

*hugs*

Sasha · #16 (**permalink**) 08-01-2007, 01:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Starlite9711

Parenting can be very draining, single or double. DH has been working about 1.5 hours away for almost 2 months, staying there during the week and coming home on weekends. It is only for about 3more weeks (Thank God) but it has given me a taste of what its like to be a single mom,, my mom raised me while my dad worked out of town, so shes been a big help (lives close..again thank God) It can be tiring but bringing our buts off the couch and taking them to the park, out to do fn things, its what we will remember later, not the overwheliming part. It what we can scrap about, its what keeps us going. Just keep on going girl and know you can always come here and rant, share and talk. You arent alone!!!!!

Thanks hon... thank you so much. You're right.. I'll keep on going.. this too shall pass!