Yet another goodbye. :(

[dugarner]

I have a friend in Arkansas who was diagnosed three months ago with a particularly aggressive form of cancer (malignant peripheral nerve sheath sarcoma resulting from neurofibromatosis). She had a tumor removed with no reason to think there was a problem (NF1 causes benign tumor growth all over your body) but it came back malignant. Within three weeks, the tumor was back twice the size (10cm X 10cm X 12cm) and she had metastases in her lungs. Once it travels, and with the size of the first tumor they removed, this type of cancer has just about a 0% survival rate past 2 years. 1 person has lived 5 years out post-surgery without recurrence.

We are not close; we are sisters in Christ but don't have any relationship outside of church events that might bring us together. We communicate on Facebook but are separated by four hours' distance. We have been guests in their home several times over the years and they have traveled here frequently for conferences and such.

We met years ago, when I was still very heavy and was just diagnosed with diabetes. She supported me, and encouraged me as I lost weight and got healthy. When I had slimmed down and was doing well, she told me that I had inspired her to get healthy again. She went on a diet, started running, and over a year or two lost about 40 pounds and became a runnin' fool. Then she kept losing weight, and more, and the pain became so unbearable she finally sought treatment. This cancer causes tumors to grow on your nerves. If you have ever had nerve pain, you've had a glimpse of what she's been going through since about October, this monster of a tumor sitting on her sciatic nerve.

I had a sinking feeling she was terminal, but she never said anything. They made the trek to MD Anderson in Houston for a protocol and scans.

I signed on Facebook tonight and she had updated for the first time in three weeks. "Nothing can be done. Be on hospice."

She is 39, two kids (14 & 12) and they're watching their mother waste away.

I will probably be out of town when she dies; I pray I'm here so I can make the trip to her service. I don't know what else to do. What can you do for someone removed by a distance? What can I do for her family? You feel so helpless. I know we have all gone through something like this, and I don't mean to dump this here to sadden anyone. She is a faithful Christian, and has unwavering hope and confidence in God's promises to her, so there is a bright light that this darkness will not overcome. But still, she will want to fight it to the very last, to have every day she possibly can with her children and her husband.

Sarah

[earlofoxford]

I'm so sorry to hear this, Sarah. I will pray for your friend, her family, and for you. It's good to know she is a Christian. If you were closer (in distance), I would suggest you take some family pictures for them.

[digigrandma]

This is tough...your friend is so young. I'm sorry, Sarah. I know you feel helpless and I feel helpless to know what to say to you that would be of help. Please know you and your friend and her family are in my prayers tonight.

[KarenC]

How heartbreaking, Sarah. Praying for your friend.

[dugarner]

Originally Posted by earlofoxford

I'm so sorry to hear this, Sarah. I will pray for your friend, her family, and for you. It's good to know she is a Christian. If you were closer (in distance), I would suggest you take some family pictures for them.

Linda, this is a great idea. I am fairly certain she had a photo shoot done when she shaved her head & bought her wig back in May.

[Myra]

Sarah - you are a kind and sensitive soul. This is the most unimaginable kind of pain for everyone. Whether she is your sister or a friend from a distance, I'm sure you're feeling this deeply. Your job is to live.

i am so very sorry.

[whatnext]

Sarah, this is heartbreaking for everyone involved. i think i will never understand anything like this. ever. how kind of you to feel this so deeply. what on earth can anyone do in the face of something like this? except maybe pray.

[echogirl]

SO very sorry Sarah. This is the worst possible horrible unfair news.
I too am taking solace in Myra's wise words. Thinking of you and her at this time.

[sarahorton]

Sarah, I am so sorry to hear this. What a terrible thing for this sweet young family to endure.
Will keep them in our prayers.

As far as helping out, I have found Schwans to be a wonderful way to provide meals for people who live out of town. They have let me set up a payment system so the family can choose a meal per week from the catalog. They deliver the (frozen) meals to the family. Just a thought.

[Amson]

How devastating for the family. I pray that they find the strength required to get through this difficult time.

[esther_a]

Life is so not fair sometimes! What a gift she has given you with that support through your challenging times. How was she able to support you ? Just with words? Sometimes that is enough!

[maureenreynolds]

Sarah, this is so sad to hear. Too too young. But one thing that hit me reading your post was how she was the one (or one of the ones) to support you when you got your diabetes news. Like our relationship with our parents, we can't always give back what was given, but we pass it on to our children or others. What can you do? you tell her story as you have done, you pass her gift of caring on to someone else who needs support in a critical or troubling situation. I know any time I think of you now, or read about any of your health issues, I will think of this woman...she supported you on a path you now walk. Gratitude in action.

Tell her and her family your story. Tell them now, and tell them down the road when the days are darker. {{{{Sarah}}}

[dugarner]

Myra, oh my goodness, your words brought me to my knees. Sometimes the guilty of being the person that receives the blessing of having one more day is overwhelming. Sometimes the understanding that this will be your lot one day, and you will be leaving those you love, is overwhelming.

Sara, I will look into Schwann's. That's a good idea. I know their church will overwhelm them with food and support when she's gone, but the rest of your life is a long time, and maybe I can take the opportunity to help Jeff & the kids out after the dust has settled.

I am going to try to write her a letter---by hand (I haven't written a letter in years)---that she can get before she slips away. It sounds to me like they don't expect her to be lucid much past next week. They're asking for visitors to come as soon as possible, and I can't make the trip.

I would love to make a hand-made card to put the letter in---but I have no idea where to start. I haven't got any supplies anymore, though I do have access to a color printer and cardstock. Does anyone have any ideas for a card that is completely digital? (No cutting/glueing, etc.) If you've done one, please let me know if it's in the gallery.

[MIDA78466]

Sarah--I am so sorry to hear about your friend. This is such a painful time for her and her family. Being so far away--the best thing you can do is pray. The family will need them.

[carollee]

Sarah this is so heartbreaking. I think what you can do is to be there for her as she was for you. Write her like you are wanting to, but don't delay. Make sure that letter gets to her as quickly as possible. Your words are what she needs, to know you are out there thinking and praying for her, not how the words are delivered (eg. in a hand made card). Write it on a scrap of paper but just write it.

And be strong and stay strong. Wow, what a power thing Myra has said and it's so true. Live the best life that you can and don't waste a moment, that's the lesson that comes from this.

My thoughts are with you.

[anke]

This has to be devastating to all of them, especially the kids. I can see how this would affect you so deeply. What a tragedy! I don't have the slightest idea what else you could do but be there for them if they need you and let them know. Photos sound like a wonderful idea also! Hug your family!!! That's what I will do!

[connieg]

Sarah, I'm so sorry you all have to endure this. When my BIL was in his last stages, there was family members who couldn't make the trip in, they called him. He was truely touched to hear from them. You might want to call and see if she is up for a talk, even if she's not the family will know they are in your thoughts and prayers.

[donitab]

prayers are being said - and remember God is always the comfort we cannot be or do not know how to be - always.

[home in ottawa]

Some great advice/ideas here, nothing new from me, just wanted to say that I am thinking of you.

[Jacqueline T]

Pray! and you will be in my prayers - your family and friends
Carol is right - send a handwritten note soon - it doesn't have to be a card or fancy -
it's the message
hugs

[Janet1949]

Thinking of you Sarah... [hugs from Oz]..

[ValerieP]

So very sad, so sorry to hear the distance separates you and yes, it is even more difficult to know there isn't anything you can do.

[jannypan]

I know you feel helpless and I feel helpless to know what to say to you that would be of help. Please know you and your friend and her family are in my prayers tonight.

[ang66]

So sorry to hear this sad news. Prayers going your way. I like to remember the words of this song "God Will Take Care of You". God Bless.

[dugarner]

I cherish and appreciate everyone who left such sweet words here. I just read that Jenefer is now unresponsive. Her family is with her in a constant vigil. Countless numbers of friends have come to sit with her and visit, some whom she hadn't seen in 20 years. She is loved. God is good.

[jazzmatazz]

Sarah, I am so sorry to hear your latest update. What an incredibly difficult thing for her young family and her friends to have to endure. Prayers for all of you, particularly prayers of comfort and peace.

[esther_a]

Such difficult times, but so lovely that she has so much support and that everyone has had a chance to say goodbye.

[Lisa Pate]

Prayers go out to you and to your friend and her family. Reading your post reminds me to appreciate every special day we have with our loved ones. Life is so very precious.

[beehive50]

I saw your update on FB last night... my thoughts and prayers go out to her, her family and you, my friend... {{{hugs}}}

[dugarner]

She is gone.

Requiescat in pace.