Is Santa Real?

[mugsbigsis]

I just read Joey M's 365 page about her daughter being heartbroken over Santa not being real. I remember my brother being told way too young the same thing and how upset he was so I tried to think of a way to tell my kids without really telling them (or lying) when the time came.

My answer to any kid who has asked me if Santa is real is this: There are a lot of people who believe in Santa and there are a lot of people who don't believe in him. But, it seems to me that the ones who believe in him have a lot more fun at Christmas.

I've never had a kid ask me twice when I gave them that answer. If they are older, I think it lets them know that you trust them "with your secret" and that they are now a part of the "spirit of Christmas" without you having to do a thing.

(Just had to share that because it breaks my heart when a good thing is ruined by other kids).

[DonnaNJ]

I've never told a child that Santa doesn't exist either. When my children got to the age where they asked I always said "I believe in Santa. I believe he exists in each of us and every time we give of ourselves or help someone who needs it he grows a little bit bigger inside of us... and that is the MAGIC of Christmas" They've never asked me again either. Of course, I always have to worry that they may not ask because they think I've gone over the edge but I like to think it's because they understood what I meant about the MAGIC of Christmas :-)

[Lynn Grieveson]

That's a great answer Kelly and SO true!

[bluelemur01]

It's tough, because I remember being so enthralled by Santa & Christmas, and then being so disillusioned when I found out he wasn't real -- to the point where I started to question religion too. I am not sure whether the fun is worth the blow later on, or how to tell which children are the ones who will feel the blow especially hard when they find out. So we are letting our DD believe in Santa for now, although part of me feels uneasy about the whole thing...

J

[amcmillian]

Awww poor baby! That is a great answer Kelly! I wish I had thought of it many years ago. My sister is only a few years older than my children and when they were small she was babysitting them one day and came accross their presents (I was in the dark) and I'm sure she showed them to them. The next morining I woke up to find my children playing with their toys. Needless to say I was so upset with my sister. I put the toys away and of course they reappeared Christmas Day and my kids said, "Santa didn't bring these." Luckily I had wrapped the gifts they had seen already and had some gifts that I didn't get around to wrapping so from then on all wrapped gifts were from me and unwrapped from Santa. We laugh about it now that they are 24 and 25. But I'm still mad at my sister about that....lol.

[dorah]

My stepson tried to tell my son one year that there was no Santa. I think he was only 4 or 5 at the time. I told my stepson if there was no Santa there would be no presents for anyone and he backed off in a hurry. That year I found these kits at Lowes that came with a stencil of "Santa's bootprints" and some carpet deodorizer that you sprinkled on the stencil and then the carpet stuff stayed where the openings were to look like snow. No chimney was a problem but I just made them go from the tree to the door and he was a happy little boy. Fortunately for me when he finally figured it out he didn't dissolve into tears. Santa is still the magic in December. There are greater powers that are the miracle and this he knows.

[Cassie Jones (1gr8muggle)]

Well, Santa's alive and well in this house. I GUARANTEE Jack won't be able to keep it secret once he knows, but I think Ellie might be so smart that she figures it out before him anyway.

I will share this funny . . . I thought for sure the neighbor kids had ruined it for Jack.

J: "Mom, has anyone ever SEEN Santa?"
Me: "Not that I'm aware of. He moves too fast." (hee hee)
J: "Jamie says that Santa can give you a cold."
Me: (puzzled) "She did, huh? I've never heard of Santa giving anyone a cold."
J: "She says that if you catch him putting things in your stocking, he'll give you a cold."
Me: After a longer pause than SHOULD have been necessary, I grinned and said, "No, sweetie . . . if you try to catch him that would be considered a "bad" idea, and he'll leave you nothing but coal."

I'm not sure if Jamie was wrong, or if Jack misunderstood her, but it sure was good for a Christmas giggle.

I suppose I should make a page about this. lol

[Blossom]

Here in Norway we celebrate Christmas at Christmas Eve with our big gathering- and guess what Santa is coming to our house while the kids are up and have a sack filled with presentn. So it is a bit harder to hold on to the secret. There is usually someone from the adults being at the house and you have to disguise yourself as best as you can.

Two years ago I had to do my turn - and since it is only DS who is the young one in the family - DD guessed it years ago - I had to do my best. He did not say anything for days after, then it came. Mom, I know it was you who was Santa.

But last year... he was all about the magic when being at my in laws at Xmas Eve he got to set out the porridge on the door step. Then suddenly the bell rung and outside was a sack of presents with a note that this year Santa didn't have time to stop by our house. He was all in for it again (he was 8 at the time).

He says he don't believe this year... but we'll see when the night comes...

[dugarner]

My daughter is a fairly cynical 8-year-old who lives in a strange world of wanting to believe what her daddy tells her more than anything, but being skeptical of stories he tells knowing his history with teasing her.

A few years ago she heard from a friend at school the "Santa isn't real" mantra and came home. She was crying a little bit because she was frustrated; she said, do I believe Clara, or you, Daddy? So Daddy said, believe what you want. And he left it at that. Bailey was happy.

On Christmas morning we got a big bell with a piece of ribbon tied to it and threw it in the fireplace behind the fireplace screen. When Bailey got up, she found it and was certain Santa had dropped it in the fireplace. She was happy for one more year, content to believe the story.

Last year she asked me about it (in the same conversation where she asked which part of mommy babies come out of!) and I just told her. She said, "Oh. Well. It will still be fun to keep the game going for all the little brothers and sisters of my friends."

We celebrate the Feast of St. Nicholas every year on December 6. On the 5th, we put the kids' shoes outside and they wake up on the 6th with shoes full of candy. Since this person we remember, St. Nicholas of Myra, who was so generous with his great wealth and gave gifts to children all his life, really lived, we have sequed from the commerical Santa Claus to telling her about the real St. Nick. She hears the story every year, and we've explained to her how he has changed from the traditional to the Santa she sees all around now.

So she knows that the Santa at the mall and the Santa at the Zoo are not the same person, but that they represent something real. She has fun with it, and this year asked me again how Santa could be in two places at once. If she's confused, I'm gonna go with it. It's all part of growing up.

But meanness (other kids taunting or spoiling the story) is just mean. It's out there, there are mean and spiteful kids, and we just have to deal with it. If it's not Santa, it's going to be something else.

But Santa isn't a lie, it's a beautiful story and it keeps our children's imaginations fresh and bright. We are too jaded and cynical anymore to see that these stories that we perpetuate aren't harmful, though the growing out of them sometimes is painful. Even when our kids are crying because they're confused or disappointed, we can replace that disappointment with something even more wonderful and beautiful. I made sure Bailey knew that Santa tells the story about what Christ does for his children every day.

So it's all good! And happy. I'm so sorry Joey's daughter had to find out that way. But the hurt will fade, I think, and while her mother is hugging her tight and telling her the story may not be entirely true, she'll be okay, and will eventually be excited about it again or maybe she'll take part in helping others enjoy the game for a while.

[justmp]

Kelly: Thanks so much for sharing your answer! I have a 7 1/2 year old and I know that the day is coming very soon that I will be questioned about the jolly old elf, and I will absolutely be using your answer!

[KerryMac]

What a great answer to a tough question, Kelly. I'll have to remember that!

I had a weird experience with Santa when I was 6...
It was early December, right around this time, and Santa was going to make his appearance via helicopter at a local shopping center in Albuquerque. At the time, we had no indoor malls.
The shopping center was near my dad's office, so it was all very exciting to me! My mom and dad and I drove over to wait for him, along with tons of other happy kids. Well, he never showed up! You can only imagine how this went over...
So we go home and my parents had to explain to me that Santa's helicopter had crashed into my dad's office! I'm not kidding! He was not gravely injured (now that I think about it, that's what they told me, but I wonder...). In order to keep me from going into hysterics, mom and dad decided to inform me that the Santas that we saw at the stores were only helpers. That the real Santa had to stay at the North Pole to get ready for Christmas Eve.
That seemed to keep me somewhat happy for another several years!
My dad took me to see the damage at his office...it wasn't awful, but I'll never forget that image.

[Jana Morton]

Oh my goodness Kerry...what a story! Kelly love your answer to the tough question...I'm certainly going to remember that. It has been helpful to read everybody's perspective on this...thanks for posting this Kelly. We are certainly not there yet (Thank God) but I'm tucking this all away!

[iUma]

Sure, Santa is real. See. A real green frog who believes in rainbows!! I love you, Kelly.

[shhbabymine]

Kelly, thats a great answer...
Cassie you guys make me laugh...
Kerry, OMGosh!!!!

My kids ask all the time, we tell them similar to what Kelly has said. Santa is believing in something that is good and someone who gives, and that is something we could all believe in.

[echogirl]

Kelly a million thank yous!

I grew up in a house without Santa. We still got presents of course but definitely none from Santa. We also did not have many December traditions like advent calendars, music or books. Looking back on my childhood, I feel as though the magic and wonderment of Christmas was missing. Flash forward 20 years (cough cough ok 30 years) and I'm determined to make Christmas special and meaningful. I want my kids to grow up thinking there is a Santa. I want them to believe in hope.
(Of course we are teaching them the true meaning of Christmas as well!)

So Kelly I love your response and I'm totally going to use it.

I love that DD is turning out to be a creative outlet AND a fabulous parenting resource!!

[anke]

My oldest has figured it out last year, and I would be concerned if she had not at his point She told me the handwriting gave it away LOL. But I have always made sure to present a magical Christmas, remembering how special it was in my childhood! Great answer Kelly!!!

[annaaspnes]

Absolutely! He doesn't bring presents to those who don't believe. At least that's my story...and I'm sticking to it

[mugsbigsis]

Originally Posted by echogirl

Looking back on my childhood, I feel as though the magic and wonderment of Christmas was missing. Flash forward 20 years (cough cough ok 30 years) and I'm determined to make Christmas special and meaningful. I want my kids to grow up thinking there is a Santa. I want them to believe in hope.

Thank you, Doris. You just gave me another word for my Daily Dec pages. . . hope. :O)

[carollee]

Great answer Kelly.

I remember when I found out, I think I kind of knew a little bit, but hoped he was real. And one year I left my autograph book out for him, alongside the milk and cookies, and heck, it must have been late, but dad didn't think to disguise his writing and I recognised it. I think it was still a year later before I voiced it though.

[ccblue]

When my nephew was beginning to think that maybe Santa wasn't real my sister-in-law took a piece of torn red felt and hung it on the fireplace grate. It really looked like someone had snagged their clothing. The wide-eyed look of wonder on my nephews face not only sold him that there was a Santa Claus, it convinced me that the Magic of Christmas is real.

[kathie02]

Kelly, you are such a wise woman....i love your answer.

One of my most vivid childhood memories is of the day I learned that the big guy wasn't real. I came home in tears and asked my mom...she told me the truth and just like Morgan (Joey's daughter) I immediately said that I supposed that the Easter Bunny and tooth fairy weren't real as well. I was so mad, I got a paper grocery sack and filled it with some clothes and proceeded to tell my mom that I was running away....and I did....I made it all the way to the end of the block where all I could do was sit on the curb....I wasn't allowed to cross the street...lol!! I don't remember that I was tramatized for long though and enjoyed keeping the magic alive as long as possible for my brother, after all santa couldn't just bring him presents!!!

[oldvwblues]

You're answer is perfect! I'm a believer!

[hendon]

I love your answer Kelly, and will definately be using it for my 5 year old twins when the time comes. I've never wanted to lie to my kids about stuff, but also don't want them to miss out on the magic of things like Santa. I think your answer helps show them we aren't lying to them, just creating a little magic, of which you hope they will continue to enjoy and be a part of.

I have no recollection of finding out Santa wasn't real, so no memory of being traumatised.

One of my girls has figured out already that most of the Santas we see are 'just people dressed up like Santa, ay mama?'. By all accounts the Santa we visited on Saturday was the 'real mccoy' though.

And her sister asked me when they were only four just exactly which part of mama did babies come out of!! (The general area wasn't good enough - she wanted specifics!).

They seem pretty smart to me, and I just follow their lead with the questions. But boy am I concerned what they'll be like as teenagers when they're like this at this age!!!!

[blkcow]

We did the same thing as ccblue...we had a torn piece of red fabric hanging on the woodstove..worked like a charm. We always put hay on the ground outside of the house....well, without being too graphic...our mule deer and Santas reindeer have the same shaped poop, so the deer always ate most of the hay overnight and there were deer prints all over the ground...so it wasn't much of a stretch!!

We might have done too good of a job....our youngest son believed until, well we finially had to tell him. Our oldest son came to us one night and said you really need to tell Mark about Santa (the kids are teasing him on the bus)...so we did and he was so dissapointed...he immediately questioned (like Kathie02) Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy!! It was a sad day for me....but we a huge believer in the magic of Santa and only those who believe get presents!!