Hayden was given a breathalyzer test before he could get into the dance

[susiecw]

I think everyone should have been informed of the test before the dance. But, at least the school is being proactive. We've lost many kids here in the Phoenix area after Homecoming and Prom dances and their after parties.

[carollee]

I don't think it's a presumption of guilt until proven otherwise, more so to keep the riff raff out and ensure it is a alcohol free night so that all that attend can enjoy it in peace and safety.

This is a different world we're in now, and to be honest I wouldn't have a problem with it, if it was to ensure my child would be able to party in safety.

[KerryMac]

I'm not in any way shape or form against keeping all kids safe. I'm just not convinced that the things schools are doing are the right things.
For example, the "zero tolerance" policy on no drugs in school ultimately led to the horrific strip search of the 13 year old girl a few years ago. She was accused, falsely, of possessing a Tylenol, or something similar, by another kid. The girl has suffered unimaginable mental duress as a result of having to expose herself to her school administrators. The courts recently ruled against the school (system?)
I spoke to two of my daughters about this last night. They were both against the practice of testing every person who enters a dance and not just because they're young and idealistic. They reminded me that the kids they knew who were killed in car accidents from their classes had been drinking at a friend's home, served by parents!
Yes, kids can be sneaky and manipulative. They are prone to peer pressure. They do stupid things. But my point is I think we need to approach these very serious problems from a different angle.
Parents need to know where their kids are, who they are with, and we need to know the other parents and verify whether or not they will be home when other kids are visiting, that no liquor will be present, etc. Kids need curfews. So many of the wrecks around here have occured at 2:30 AM. I think lots of parents have dropped the ball when it comes to supervision.
Schools need to be very familiar with their students and be alert when kids who might be prone to cause trouble are present and keep tight reigns on them and be in communication with the parents, as difficult as that can be nowadays.
I think giving blanket breathalyzer tests and similar procedures is a band aid for a huge, complicated issue and steps on civil rights. Where does it end? And is it better to send a kid away into the night if he/she has been drinking? Or to cause a certain number of kids to simply stay away from the event and do what they do in an empty home, or in their car only to harm themselves and someone else later on?
I'm uncomfortable opening myself up like this here! I love this group and don't want to upset anyone. And I hope I haven't. This is just an area that I get all riled up over. I know too many, far too many, kids and families whose lives have been destroyed by drugs and drinking and none of them, or the other kids whose lives they touched, would have been protected or kept safe by this policy.

[Heidi2008]

Wow, a heads up to the parents would have been nice but I totally understand why it's a good policy. Interested to know how many kids didn't get in?

[audrey77]

I don't think I would have been mad. Better to reward the responsible kids with a fun dance, than to have drunk kids ruin it for everyone, and identify the problems. I actually would have had a talk with my kids, turned it into a science lesson and taught them how they work! Breathalyzers are pretty cool (science in police work is cool!)

[AllynD]

You know, by not telling everyone in advance, they had to opportunity to identify early the kids with a serious life-threatening problem so that they can intervene to help that young person.

One think I have observed is that most kids who drink or use drugs have parents who have done everything they know to have honest and healthy relationships with their children, and may actually have done everything "right" in raising them. Some things are still a mystery in this life.

Sometimes parents whose kids have not had these problems assume it is because of their superlative parenting. Just as often, it is pure dumb luck. Or grace, depending on your point of view.

[Scrapbird]

As a middle school teacher, and a parent who has raised two teenagers, I am very gratified by the deeply thoughtful responses to this thread. It has been a wonder to read your well-reasoned opinions; this makes me think that if more of my students had parents like you ladies, my job would be oh so much easier.
DD people are incredible!

[Steph]

Originally Posted by Scrapbird

As a middle school teacher, and a parent who has raised two teenagers, I am very gratified by the deeply thoughtful responses to this thread. It has been a wonder to read your well-reasoned opinions; this makes me think that if more of my students had parents like you ladies, my job would be oh so much easier.
DD people are incredible!

I have to agree with this! I love to see such conversations where everyone is able to converse so intelligently and make every effort to understand everyone else's opinion. I am honored to be here among all of you.