Oh, Mary, I am so sorry. How awful, and how awful for Hayden. I don't even know him, but from your pages of him it seems he has such a tender, sweet spirit but is so fun-loving too. I am sure he is so upset, but he has to know it's not his fault. My heart hurts for him and for y'all, too.
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Sarah 
Equipment: Canon T2i (550D) with 18-55mm f/3.5-5.6, 55-250mm f/4-5.6, 50mm f/1.8, and 400mm f/5.6L lenses
Software: Windows 7, PSE 6.0 (Editor and Organizer), and PSCS 4
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